so the update

I got through everything having to talk to funeral people and churches and such regarding my moms passing back in August.


Then started at Salem State University in September, so going to school M-W-F and working T-TH-Sat. so keeping really busy. I finished the semester and register for more classes and will be back on the grind starting Jan 17.

Recently found I need ear surgery, there is an infection under my eardrum this isn't good and has progressively made the hearing in my right ear so bad that its practically non existent, he thinks it may improve my hearing as well so thats a bonus, this may be the cause of my chronic headaches as well, so if they go away too double bonus.. But I am scared its my head..lots of nerves in there

my mom is an angel now

OBITUARY

SALISBURY, MA: Doris K. (MacLeod) (Sheldon) Smith, 72,
formerly of Haverhill, died on August 20, 2011 at the
Kindred Hospital in Peabody, MA. Mrs. Smith was the wife of
Gordon T. Smith.

Born in Haverhill on March 15, 1939, Doris was the daughter
of the late Gordon and Violet (Valenti) MacLeod.

Doris was educated in Haverhill, and retired following
sixteen years as Receptionist and Activity Assistant at
Penacook Place in Haverhill. She attended the East Parish
United Methodist Church in Salisbury.

Besides her husband of forty years Doris is survived by her
children, Deborah Condo of Haverhill, Katherine Trask and
her husband Robert of Haverhill, Franklin W. Sheldon, 111 of
Biddeford, ME, Rev. James C. Sheldon of Dover, NH, Lisa A.
Brewster and her husband Paul of Salisbury, Tammysue Senter
and her husband Kenneth of Haverhill, Amylou Smith of
Haverhill; siblings, Theresa Eubanks of York, ME, Elaine
Ellis of Haverhill, Evelyn Taliento of Florida, Mary
Ouellette of Haverhill, Helen Rizzo of Wells, ME and Louis
MacLeod; 20 grandchildren and 23 great grandchildren. Doris
was the mother of the late Linda Mae Martin and sister of
the late James MacLeod.

Relatives and friends are invited to attend a memorial
service on Saturday, August 27th at 11:00 a.m. at the East
Parish United Methodist Church, 8 Lafayette Road, Salisbury,
MA. Arrangements by Dole, Childs & Shaw Funeral Home, 148
Main Street, Haverhill. Online condolences may be sent to
www.dcsfuneralhome.com

Drained

I am just physically and emotionally drained at the moment

for some reason my unemployment check did not come and I don't get an actual paycheck til August 26 as I am payed biweekly so I have been calling them and waiting on a supervisor to fix it so I have no money to go grocery shopping or gas money had to get 10 from my niece when we visited my mom and my dad gave me 20, hate taking money from him.

hopefully it is straightened by tomorrow or saturday as my money is direct deposit

my dads van decided to break down on him today..

and this whole deal with my mom its just taking its toll

think I am off to an early bed time tonight

A letter I gave to my mom yesterday

Dear Mom,

       I am not the hugging type person, this I know. But I want you to know that I love you more than life itself.  You have always been my rock, or the sail that has kept my ship afloat,  I was so lucky that God gave me you for a mother.

       You have always been there for me for everything, you held my hand when I gave birth to my baby boy and you stood by and helped me raise him, you and dad after been grandparents and father to my children.  When I was little you wiped away my tears and kissed my boo boo’s and told me you loved me more that the stars in the sky.  I wish we could back to days of old when I used to climb in bed with you in the morning, sometimes kicking dad out.  Or when I had a bad dream, now I can only turn on the television.

       You taught me that money doesn’t make the world go round but that it is love and compassion that does that. You taught me to be strong and to be independent, and to be the best mommy I can possibly be.

        I don’t know why I have these personal space issues perhaps a defect when I was created, I don’t know.  But mom Know this I love you to infinity and beyond, you and dad both.

                                                              Love You Always

                                                                          Amy

A Long Day

what a long day I am finally home, got to the train station, met babble head lol, got more that wheels at 10 45 left after 12.. home to grab car seat and fix the fuse for lighter (to charge phone) then to right at home I go two hrs this week for tomorrow, and go in Monday for hours for next week..car inspected... stopped down town to say Hi to Ceci Cannon....got Alexis from school the teachers love and will miss her (of course) then to the hospital to see my mom and was there till 6 30ish when Dad, Alexis and I went to papa ginos, he rode with me, dropped him back at the hospital, and finally home.. now in Jammies and relaxing...oh yeah and at the hospital bumped into an old friend her and I were preggo at the same time

and now I am adding on
  the car is a 2004 buick regal few dents but in good condition, and remember its a temporary bridge car till I get my brandy new one which hopefully will be a Nissan Versa or a Toyota Yaris, or something similar Those were the choices I listed but also wrote I care more for a lower car payment than a huge one as in a few years i gotta pay student loans as well, I will try and get Dylan to take a pic or two

I am working 2 hours tomorrow but know what that means is that even though its only a small about with Bi weekly I will get a check next Friday for the 2 weeks That what happened last time at least, even though week one is just 2 hrs I don't care it means holding back only happens on the 2 hrs..

My moms BP was very low last night and she was having hard time breathing, she actually told me she thought she was gonna meet her maker, Kind of scary to hear, but she was doing better today.. they are having a hard time getting her to a rehab because of the radiation, any place even the hospital she is transported to her treatments though its on the hospital campus so not far.. transportation is a factor

My mom is in the hospital :(

 

 My mom pictured above with little Lexi looking at her is on oxygen as you can see in the picture, she got on oxygen two years ago when she went to the hospital and was discovered she had renal failure.

Well a few months ago she was diagnosed with Breast Cancer (Cancer Sux). At the end of April she had surgery and they cut 17 lymph nodes out 3 were cancerous stage 2.

She would later meet with Doctors that do Chemo and Radiation. She is only doing radiation because of her health issues which include renal failure, COPD, a leaky heart valve, and she is on insulin for diabetes since the last hospital scare, she is to have six and a half weeks of radiation, she has has two weeks and one day then after the last day while trying to get in the house her legs collapsed and she was taking to the hospital. Well Yesterday I had my dads van so after errands I went to the hospital and got the scoop so far. Moms potassium levels were dangerously high, her blood counts are low. But her kidney functions are thankfully stable for now. While there yesterday the Nurse who's also named Amy like me, which for some reason makes mom happy. Said she has noticed that my moms leg is turned out so they wanna get an X-Ray of her hip. 

With no transportation till Friday I have no way to get there I tried calling and its just rigging and ringing so I called the nurses station. They said she is in Radiation

Please keep my mom in you thoughts and prayers

My own personal Not Me Monday

I know that there hasn't been a Not Me Monday Mclinky on McMama's page in a while but I have a couple of Not Me Monday experiences

So today I did Not keep Alexis home from School today because I discovered that she and Dylan ate her school snacks for this week, and I cannot get more till tonight when I am am borrowing my dads car

I was Not to lazy yesterday and I did Not order pizza instead..Nope that was Not Me!!

I did Not Let Alexis where the same clothes on Sunday that she fell asleep in on Saturday, I totally would Never do that because I did Not fall asleep when I was do to babysit and I did not have time to bathe and change her, so I also did Not spot wash her with a face cloth so she would appear clean, I do Not see a mom of the year award coming my way