my mom is an angel now

OBITUARY

SALISBURY, MA: Doris K. (MacLeod) (Sheldon) Smith, 72,
formerly of Haverhill, died on August 20, 2011 at the
Kindred Hospital in Peabody, MA. Mrs. Smith was the wife of
Gordon T. Smith.

Born in Haverhill on March 15, 1939, Doris was the daughter
of the late Gordon and Violet (Valenti) MacLeod.

Doris was educated in Haverhill, and retired following
sixteen years as Receptionist and Activity Assistant at
Penacook Place in Haverhill. She attended the East Parish
United Methodist Church in Salisbury.

Besides her husband of forty years Doris is survived by her
children, Deborah Condo of Haverhill, Katherine Trask and
her husband Robert of Haverhill, Franklin W. Sheldon, 111 of
Biddeford, ME, Rev. James C. Sheldon of Dover, NH, Lisa A.
Brewster and her husband Paul of Salisbury, Tammysue Senter
and her husband Kenneth of Haverhill, Amylou Smith of
Haverhill; siblings, Theresa Eubanks of York, ME, Elaine
Ellis of Haverhill, Evelyn Taliento of Florida, Mary
Ouellette of Haverhill, Helen Rizzo of Wells, ME and Louis
MacLeod; 20 grandchildren and 23 great grandchildren. Doris
was the mother of the late Linda Mae Martin and sister of
the late James MacLeod.

Relatives and friends are invited to attend a memorial
service on Saturday, August 27th at 11:00 a.m. at the East
Parish United Methodist Church, 8 Lafayette Road, Salisbury,
MA. Arrangements by Dole, Childs & Shaw Funeral Home, 148
Main Street, Haverhill. Online condolences may be sent to
www.dcsfuneralhome.com

Drained

I am just physically and emotionally drained at the moment

for some reason my unemployment check did not come and I don't get an actual paycheck til August 26 as I am payed biweekly so I have been calling them and waiting on a supervisor to fix it so I have no money to go grocery shopping or gas money had to get 10 from my niece when we visited my mom and my dad gave me 20, hate taking money from him.

hopefully it is straightened by tomorrow or saturday as my money is direct deposit

my dads van decided to break down on him today..

and this whole deal with my mom its just taking its toll

think I am off to an early bed time tonight

A letter I gave to my mom yesterday

Dear Mom,

       I am not the hugging type person, this I know. But I want you to know that I love you more than life itself.  You have always been my rock, or the sail that has kept my ship afloat,  I was so lucky that God gave me you for a mother.

       You have always been there for me for everything, you held my hand when I gave birth to my baby boy and you stood by and helped me raise him, you and dad after been grandparents and father to my children.  When I was little you wiped away my tears and kissed my boo boo’s and told me you loved me more that the stars in the sky.  I wish we could back to days of old when I used to climb in bed with you in the morning, sometimes kicking dad out.  Or when I had a bad dream, now I can only turn on the television.

       You taught me that money doesn’t make the world go round but that it is love and compassion that does that. You taught me to be strong and to be independent, and to be the best mommy I can possibly be.

        I don’t know why I have these personal space issues perhaps a defect when I was created, I don’t know.  But mom Know this I love you to infinity and beyond, you and dad both.

                                                              Love You Always

                                                                          Amy

A Long Day

what a long day I am finally home, got to the train station, met babble head lol, got more that wheels at 10 45 left after 12.. home to grab car seat and fix the fuse for lighter (to charge phone) then to right at home I go two hrs this week for tomorrow, and go in Monday for hours for next week..car inspected... stopped down town to say Hi to Ceci Cannon....got Alexis from school the teachers love and will miss her (of course) then to the hospital to see my mom and was there till 6 30ish when Dad, Alexis and I went to papa ginos, he rode with me, dropped him back at the hospital, and finally home.. now in Jammies and relaxing...oh yeah and at the hospital bumped into an old friend her and I were preggo at the same time

and now I am adding on
  the car is a 2004 buick regal few dents but in good condition, and remember its a temporary bridge car till I get my brandy new one which hopefully will be a Nissan Versa or a Toyota Yaris, or something similar Those were the choices I listed but also wrote I care more for a lower car payment than a huge one as in a few years i gotta pay student loans as well, I will try and get Dylan to take a pic or two

I am working 2 hours tomorrow but know what that means is that even though its only a small about with Bi weekly I will get a check next Friday for the 2 weeks That what happened last time at least, even though week one is just 2 hrs I don't care it means holding back only happens on the 2 hrs..

My moms BP was very low last night and she was having hard time breathing, she actually told me she thought she was gonna meet her maker, Kind of scary to hear, but she was doing better today.. they are having a hard time getting her to a rehab because of the radiation, any place even the hospital she is transported to her treatments though its on the hospital campus so not far.. transportation is a factor

My mom is in the hospital :(

 

 My mom pictured above with little Lexi looking at her is on oxygen as you can see in the picture, she got on oxygen two years ago when she went to the hospital and was discovered she had renal failure.

Well a few months ago she was diagnosed with Breast Cancer (Cancer Sux). At the end of April she had surgery and they cut 17 lymph nodes out 3 were cancerous stage 2.

She would later meet with Doctors that do Chemo and Radiation. She is only doing radiation because of her health issues which include renal failure, COPD, a leaky heart valve, and she is on insulin for diabetes since the last hospital scare, she is to have six and a half weeks of radiation, she has has two weeks and one day then after the last day while trying to get in the house her legs collapsed and she was taking to the hospital. Well Yesterday I had my dads van so after errands I went to the hospital and got the scoop so far. Moms potassium levels were dangerously high, her blood counts are low. But her kidney functions are thankfully stable for now. While there yesterday the Nurse who's also named Amy like me, which for some reason makes mom happy. Said she has noticed that my moms leg is turned out so they wanna get an X-Ray of her hip. 

With no transportation till Friday I have no way to get there I tried calling and its just rigging and ringing so I called the nurses station. They said she is in Radiation

Please keep my mom in you thoughts and prayers

My own personal Not Me Monday

I know that there hasn't been a Not Me Monday Mclinky on McMama's page in a while but I have a couple of Not Me Monday experiences

So today I did Not keep Alexis home from School today because I discovered that she and Dylan ate her school snacks for this week, and I cannot get more till tonight when I am am borrowing my dads car

I was Not to lazy yesterday and I did Not order pizza instead..Nope that was Not Me!!

I did Not Let Alexis where the same clothes on Sunday that she fell asleep in on Saturday, I totally would Never do that because I did Not fall asleep when I was do to babysit and I did not have time to bathe and change her, so I also did Not spot wash her with a face cloth so she would appear clean, I do Not see a mom of the year award coming my way

Oh what a night

I have insomnia most of the the time and I just cannot fall asleep, but somehow I managed to fall asleep before 9pm to only get awoken and then I was unable to go back to sleep I even watch 4 episodes of 90210 (the new one) and did not fall asleep.. Last Night was chalk full of the family DRAMA. 


Anywho because of all the family drama last night my behind is dragging today, thank goodness its only Sunday and not Monday.. Its 11:15 and I am now just moving my lazy behind out of bed and getting ready for the day.. Babysitting today at 3 so I need to get some energy some how
 

terrible four and a halfs?

Really tell me is there such a thing?

Because let me tell you Alexis is certainly demonstrating terrible 4 1/2's and I am about out of my mind. 

I think the problem lies in the daycare/preschool she started when I no longer had a car to drive her to school anymore, so we had to say goodbye to our beloved preschool all of our friends and teachers. We brought cupcakes and had a farewell party and Alexis got tons of hugs and I will miss you from all of her friends.

The new preschool is obviously not a good fit with Alexis she has regressed in the few months she has been there and this horrific behavior hitting and punching me, this is all new. Now grunting and wining instead of using her words. She has PVL and Mild CP and global delays though she has caught up greatly while at the former school, she is losing these things and my little girl is disappearing and in her place a mean one.

well I had found out last Tuesday that I would have a car in a couple weeks so I spoke to former schools director and she had a spot for her, so I gave my 2 weeks notice to the new school and I am happy to report she returns to beloved school on August 8. I get my car August 5th so it worked out with timing fantastically

I am hoping that soon after being back in her old habitat my sweet girl will emerge once again. After all the preschool room at beloved school has classrooms with age appropriate children together, at new school she was the oldest and the rest are 2 yr olds, Beloveds preschool class is 3.9 to 5 or 6   better than the age 2-5 ratio.

so I cannot wait for her to be back at beloved school, only one week left at this school...

Linking up for 5Q Friday

1. Vow renewal ceremonies-yay or nay?

I don't really have a Yay or Nay for this one, I can see why some people do it like because of illness or they are reconnecting after breaking up or some such

 

I am not married and have yet to be, because I believe Marriage is forever, yes I thought  I would be Married to my children's Bio Father, but so glad that ship sailed on. 

 

So seeing that I believe marriage is forever  I don't really need to do it for fake when I already had the real deal.

 

Though it I find the Love of my Life maybe my view will change? 

2. What sound/s annoy you the most?

winey kids or wining in general... OMG it drives me up a wall when Alexis gets all winey, Dylan never did.  

 

My mom says well ones a boy and ones a girl but I have seen winey boys and men as well

3. If you had to pick, would you have only all boys, or only all girls for kids?

Nope I cannot pick I really Like my one boy one girl combo its great, though because my youngest is a girl I think I want another girl if I have another, sisters are great.  But I think I am done with a capital D. Dylan will be 18 in March, Alexis will be 5 in November.  I am getting older and don't think I wanna chase little ones, I had Dylan at 16 so the better would have been a child in between but that didn't happen

 

4. Do you believe in alternative medicine?

I believe in positive thoughts and prayers I have thought of acupuncture, but have yet to try is so I guess so. 

 

5. Would you take a family member's children and raise them if they needed it?

I guess it depends on the circumstances, I would like to say absolutely but when Alexis was a sick baby, the state took my nieces 3 kids away, I just could no handle 3, and including Alexis there would have been 3 under 2 1/2.  Alexis didn't walk and there was the baby and the toddler was delayed and there was a 6yr old, just couldn't do it, felt bad.  My sister their grandma is raising them. I help when I can

catch up on my life lately

My car shit the bead  died on me three months ago I have not owned a vehicle since and I have had to depend on people for rides, which is a complete and utter pain in the behind

for one month I did have my dads van because he had an infection in his leg that prevented him from driving.

I had to take Alexis out of her preschool and move her to one that provided transportation, totally not a good fit for her I have just given my 2 weeks notice and thank goodness she is able to go back to her old school where she thrived.

I joined a program called more than wheels and I am getting a bridge car through their bridge program which is a loaner/rental car. In the long run I will end up with a brand new car in 6 to 9 months. Yay for dependability and no more shit boxes cars that have seen better days. I get my bridge car Friday August 5th so one more week carless is all thank goodness. I have been going stir crazy. The car is right on time Alexis starts back at her school the 8th.  In this program you also take a financial fitness class which has also taught me some good

I am a terrible blogger, random thoughts

I get gun ho about blogging then I don't

Life happens and I don't

sometimes fun things happen and I neglect to blog

and the this is I do like writing what I am feeling out, because it makes me a better person

I do not care that I am uninteresting and no one reads me its and outlet and I think I should try to write more. I write on the Facebook everyday. Sometimes I post quotes.

I heart quotes

I however did write a heartfelt blog yesterday about Jim, I am really good a Narratives so maybe I will write some Narratives?

we will see

A day I will never forget

I was at the court house I told the clerk that I needed to speak to someone about him, That he needed treatment this Time and not to just be tossed in a Jailcell, he has been sick and has been cutting down on his alcohol intake but he needs treatment... Sitting in the courtroom I awaited his name to be called as I had not seen him the day before in the morning before I headed to work, I kissed him on the cheek and whispered that I loved him, remembering the night before how he told me I was so sweet and he loved me... A Police man came over to me and said the person you're waiting for is en route to the hospital that there was some sort of incident.... I get in my car I drive to the hospital that is just a little bit up the road, I go to reception and say I know he is here but that your not supposed to tell me but the police said he was brought here, someone comes and takes me to a little waiting room, a lady comes in and makes some idle chatter and says the doctor will come in and tell you whats going on... Enters Doctor, well we worked on him and were able to revive him but then he just didn't make it... My world totally crashed around me.. you see he had and old stupid warrant from years back and 2 of his friends decided to turn him in to get him some help but he was never brought to the hospital just to jail, where I eventually found out is where he actually died. He was my boyfriend, his name was Jim Cheney and he was an addict, he quit a heroin addiction before he was my boyfriend, I had known him for a long time and fell in Love with him, he would have given you the shirt off his back but he couldn't slay his demons and he died on January 19, 2006... He would have been 32 a few weeks later his birthday was February 4, Tragic ending to a young life.


this is what I thought of when I heard the news of Amy Winehouse its just sad how drugs and alcohol can destroy lives. for Mama's losing it writing prompts

boy I neglect my blogs

 I have been searching for a job but no such luck yet...
I do have a lead that I am calling tomorrow praying it works out.

My son is now 17 his birthday was March 18  S.E.V.E.N.T.E.E.N.!!!  wow where did this time go I remember when he was my tiny little baby at 6lbs 91/2 oz  18 1/2 inches  now he is 125 ish pounds and 5'6 

what a difference 17 years makes...My boy with attitude

I want to buy a camera from my niece its way better than my point and shoot I hope I get a job soon and can snatch it from her before she sells it to someone else, I want to take another photography class I loved the 1st one

I also need to buy another car this one is falling a part, I hoped to get a year in September it will be a year we will see

Sitting on my but

I really need to get motivated now that my car is finally fixed I need to find a job.

But all I seem to be able to do is sit on my but and watch Netflix or log onto facebook.

I need to stop procrastinating and get a move on

Finished my associates degree

That 2 and 1/2 years went by pretty fast.

Not time to transfer and find a job